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What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs



How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover?
Because they are hard to find and lucky to have.



Funny St Patrick’s Day Captions



What’s Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O’furniture!



I went out drinking on St Patricks Day, so I took a bus home…
That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.



Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Irish!
Irish Who?
Irish you a happy
St. Patrick’s Day!



Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?
Because you don’t want to press your luck.



Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re always a little short.



If you live with younger siblings at home, wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day is crucial for survival.



Never iron a four lover because you don’t want to press your luck.



My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. I asked her how she colored it and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about.



I might only be 25% Irish, but on St Patrick Days I will be 100% drunk.



I’m not going to wear green today, but I am wearing blue pants and a yellow shirt, so pretty much the same thing. St Patrick’s Day Puns



If you’re lucky enough to be Irish… you’re lucky enough!



“There is more friendship in a half pint of whiskey than in a churn of buttermilk.”



Raise your hand if you are 1% Irish today.



If you thought Valentine’s Day was for all the kissing? You haven’t met an Irish Women yet!



Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It counts as a vegetable!



Touch my Lucky Charms & I will choke your little Leprechaun



Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer?
Cause the grass tickles their balls St Patrick’s Day Puns



What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day?
the BLARNEY stone!

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What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A Jolly Green Giant



Why is a river rich?
Because it has two banks



Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
The red ones were in the wash!



What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
A leper con



What do perverted leprechauns drink on St. Patricks Day?
Mount & Do



St Patrick’s Day Quotes Blessings



What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.



Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?
He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.



How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.



Tom: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Tom: A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day.



Seth: What do you call a fake Irish stone?
Spencer: What?
Seth: A shamrock!



David: Mom, I met an Irish boy on St. Patrick’s Day.
Mom: Oh, really?
David: No, O’Reilly!

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Joe: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
Bob: Tell me.
Joe: You might press your luck!



Jack: On what musical instrument did the show off musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?
Ally: I have no idea.
Jack: On his brag-pipes.



St Paddy’s Day Quotes



May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
~Irish Blessing



Oh, the music in the air!
A’ the joy that’s everywhere –
Shure, the whole blue vault of heaven is wan grand triumphal arch,
A’ the earth below is gay
Wid its tender green the’-day,
Fur the whole world is Irish on the Seventeenth o’ March!
~ Thomas Augustin Daly



When Irish eyes are smiling, sure ’tis like a morn in spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing,
When Irish hearts are happy all the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smiling, sure, they steal your heart away.
~ Chauncey Olcott



For ‘this green, green, green, where the ruined towers are gray,
And it’s green, green, green, all the happy night and day;
Green of leaf and green of sod, green of ivy on the wall,
And the blessed Irish shamrock with the fairest green of all.
~ Mary Elizabeth Blake



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